How I Lost 12.5 Pounds & Regained My Soul

Naked, as in truth, and uncensored, I share my daily quest to survive as a woman and artist, while dealing with the complications of a full life, meddling in politics, loving my children to excess, totally permanently married and on a never-ending diet. While my soul is in constant need of repair and redemption, I struggle to do the right thing. In the meantime, let's all double the love. (Love, not sex, you fool). All posts are copyrighted material.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Absence from those you love is painful... especially after half a summer


Good morning, my petite little watermelons~

Goodness gracious. When I got up the second time this morning (the first time was at 7:00 with the doggies) and twenty minutes later crawled back into bed, it seemed so sad that my husband's side of our kingsize bed was still neatly made. I normally would have thrown his pillows off, so the dogs would start at least on his side, but last night I was too tired to be thoughtful.

When I got up again a few hours later and opened up the hallway doors - which I had closed last night before I had dinner with our daughter and her family so I wouldn't have to crate the little dog while I was gone - it really hit me. All of my granddaughter's things were gone too.

Of course, I was conscious when they left, but it was just that everything for the last few weeks had been so hectic and busy and wonderful that I was still absorbing it all. Not to diminish the delightful party, but the real joy this summer was having our granddaughter's beautiful spirit and personality around us every day. It reminded me why being with family creates such a rich life.

And that is before I tell you how kind she always is to her little cousin, who last night at dinner said with the saddest tone of voice and misty big brown eyes, "Grandma, my cousin left and now she's gone and I don't know where."

Of course, it is hard to explain to a four-year-old that her cousin's parents love her too and think she should actually live with them.:)

But then, the dogs agreed with her. They keep going into her room and sniffing around, looking for her surely, as she made a point of playing with them every day, a sport which I admit is not my forte.

And did I tell you about her innocent and beautiful face, like a classic Roman statue and a fit body that is certainly the envy of every woman on the planet who sees her. Of course great looks without depth would be merely two-dimensional, but no one could ever accuse her of that.

All our friends, her summer co-workers, our newly extended family and the people at the club all embraced her - and there was not a dry eye at the party as each one hugged her good-bye. She has always been a special child, but seeing the emerging bloom of womanhood, like the gorgeous young colt getting ready to leap the fence? No feeling human can see this and not be moved and touched by the glow of such a child's present and future.

The details? We just adored her sophisticated charm, her warmth and affectionate nature, her desire to 'help' in every conceivable way, her industriousness, those deep feelings and concerns about the rest of the world, her personal strength and willingness to overcome her fears and take risks, her independence and her fabulous and clever sense of humor... and suddenly the room looked so barren that I couldn't help it when I got that lump in my throat and my eyes filled up with tears.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I am a sentimental slob, but doesn't everybody expect their Grandma to cry when they leave. Okay, so I already cried the day she left, but nobody knew about that until now. Oh come on! You would have cried too.

Clark County Diva

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